Read this paragraph, people told me it is horrible and I changed it a bit. I won't give up.?
“Angelica, you can come in now.” said Dr Stern. Angelica took her brown, sleepy eyes off the Japanese red rug beneath her and pointed her brown, wide eyes on Dr Stern’s foot and finally managed to move towards the door. She studied everything in the room. She noticed the simple but expensive style that represented the whole place. The walls were white, a crystal chandelier was hanging from the ceiling, a mahogany desk and chairs settled in front of the window. She also noticed a brown couch and two seats. They were lightened by the dim sparkle of the small sky lights above their heads.
The paragraph is not horrible now (I did not read the earlier version). Some of the details are quite nice. The brown eyes sentence needs to be reworked; the eyes go from sleepy to wide instantaneously, and for no readily apparent reason. The repetition of brown there also seems unwarranted, and the general movement of the gaze is a bit clumsy.
I would also remove the sentence that begins, "She noticed the simple..." It is unnecessary, and describing what she actually sees (white walls, desk, etc.) works better than calling it "simple but expensive style."
I would combine the last two sentences: "... two seats, lightened [accented/highlighted/something else?] by the dim sparkle of the small skylights above them." (The phrase "above their heads" seems to refer to the couch and seats, neither of which have heads!)
Finally, I would conclude the paragraph by returning to Angelica and Dr. Stern with some action: sitting, turning, or doing something to return the focus to the characters.
Hope this helps; you have done some good things with detail here, which is always tricky to do in balance with plot.
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